I'll try to put into words all of the things that went on during this race but I doubt that I will express it adequately. Besides the magnitude and the amazing-ness of running with over 5,000 people, some pretty cool revelations occurred in my own little running world. I'll do my best to tell you how God inspired me and maybe it will give you some inspiration too.
My "I Run For Love" running gear!
The day of the race came. 5:00am came even quicker. Mike and I woke up in our hotel room and I popped out of bed with a crazy adrenaline rush. It was the day. As much as I tried to convince myself that day was just another day, I felt the rush of nerves. I remember those nerves well. I got them before every single soccer game for 17 years. I don't know why I thought the day of my race was going to be any different.
We got ready, ate some breakfast, grabbed all my gear and left for downtown Richmond.
We arrived for the festivities and the streets were swarmed by a sea of people. So as not to drag along the boring details of running mile to mile, I will skip to the good stuff. Just know that the first 10 miles went awesome and I was on track to finishing with a great time.
There I am!
Somewhere between the 10th and 11th mile it became apparent that my body was done. I was totally exhausted. My mind may have been tired but I could distinctly feel all of the sore, aching muscles in my entire body as well. I wasn't prepared to feel like that. I was told that the adrenaline you receive from the crowd should carry you the last three miles. It didn't work. Not for me. I began to plead with God to carry me the rest of the way, to spare me of this hardship, to take away the pain. It was then that the holy spirit began to speak to me.
"Your life was not meant to be free of pain. Your life was not meant to be easy. I never promised you any of that. I'm proud of you for making it this far. I'm proud of you for the sacrifices you have made to get here. But just because I'm proud of you doesn't mean I am going to rescue you."
Uh, I was talking about the race, Mr. Holy Spirit, not my life.
Either way, it hit me like a ton of bricks. All the years of being fed the lines that "God is going to save you" "God will make a way in all situations" "God gives good to all those that love him" came crashing down into an abyss of doubt.
Everything in my body began to hurt worse.
But just as that little shred of doubt began to pour into my heart, something happened that doesn't usually happen. I didn't sink into that abyss. I waited, I listened, and God began to tell me of how I've always done things in my life. Not in a condemning way, but in a teaching way. I began to talk in my mind as if God and I were literally having a conversation just sitting at a cafe sipping lattes.
"Your whole life, Mandi, you've done what is easy. You've been mediocre. You've never sacrificed what is necessary to do something great. You've been given talents and even though you've used them for my glory, you've never used them to the best of your ability. Remember basketball? Why did you stop playing after high school? Because you loved soccer better? No. Because you weren't good at it? No. Then why?"
"Because, God (insert snobby, sarcastic voice), I wasn't a natural at it. I didn't want to do the work that was necessary to play basketball at a higher level. At a better level."
"Remember college? Sure, you were generally an 'A' student but you could have done better, gotten better scholarships and grants, had less debt when it was all over, if you had made the sacrifices of studying any kind of a priority."
Event after event flashed through my mind, reminding me of the things I had done half-way. Friendships, jobs, parenting...I never once felt like God was cutting me down, or saying shame on you, but I felt like he was giving me the chance to remember that as his follower, his disciple, I have a responsibility to make sacrifices, to do things to the best of my ability with the things He has given me.
Suddenly, a picture of Jesus' sacrifice began to tie into the very race I was running. My feet began to hurt and I could feel myself remember.
"My legs hurt. Your legs hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' legs hurt as the soldiers slashed them with whips, time and time again?"
"My arms hurt."
"Your arms hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' arms hurt carrying a cross miles and miles to Calvary?"
"Remember college? Sure, you were generally an 'A' student but you could have done better, gotten better scholarships and grants, had less debt when it was all over, if you had made the sacrifices of studying any kind of a priority."
Event after event flashed through my mind, reminding me of the things I had done half-way. Friendships, jobs, parenting...I never once felt like God was cutting me down, or saying shame on you, but I felt like he was giving me the chance to remember that as his follower, his disciple, I have a responsibility to make sacrifices, to do things to the best of my ability with the things He has given me.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:24
Suddenly, a picture of Jesus' sacrifice began to tie into the very race I was running. My feet began to hurt and I could feel myself remember.
"My legs hurt. Your legs hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' legs hurt as the soldiers slashed them with whips, time and time again?"
"My arms hurt."
"Your arms hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' arms hurt carrying a cross miles and miles to Calvary?"
"My feet hurt."
"Your feet hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' feet hurt to have a gigantic nail driven through them?"
I realized what no Christian wants to hear but every one of them needs to know. Being a Christian is going to hurt. Bearing a "cross" is going to be painful. Doing God's will is going to call for sacrifice. But he promises to walk beside us, sometimes carry us, through it all. Giving us hope and encouragement in the most desolate places of our existence.
I'd like to tell you that after that revelation, I finished the race with a 7 minute mile, a smile on my face, waving at the crowd as I passed them. I didn't. And I'm kinda glad that those last two miles were a sort of hell for me. Because I did finish the race. I pushed myself as hard as my legs and my mind could go. I left absolutely everything on that road. And, quite frankly, I hope at the end of my time here on Earth I can say the same thing about the way I lived my life from this point forward...
Thank you to all of you who supported me in this mini marathon. I can't even tell you how much I appreciated your love and encouragement through all my training and especially during the race!
For those of you that want to know....I placed 2255 out of 5548 participants, I placed 961 out of 3278 women and I placed 189 out of 644 in my age group. I finished the race in 1 hour 54 minutes and 45 seconds.
If you would still like to donate towards this fundraiser go here.
"Your feet hurt? Really? How much do you think Jesus' feet hurt to have a gigantic nail driven through them?"
I realized what no Christian wants to hear but every one of them needs to know. Being a Christian is going to hurt. Bearing a "cross" is going to be painful. Doing God's will is going to call for sacrifice. But he promises to walk beside us, sometimes carry us, through it all. Giving us hope and encouragement in the most desolate places of our existence.
Coming down the last stretch of the course
I'd like to tell you that after that revelation, I finished the race with a 7 minute mile, a smile on my face, waving at the crowd as I passed them. I didn't. And I'm kinda glad that those last two miles were a sort of hell for me. Because I did finish the race. I pushed myself as hard as my legs and my mind could go. I left absolutely everything on that road. And, quite frankly, I hope at the end of my time here on Earth I can say the same thing about the way I lived my life from this point forward...
I finished!!!
My biggest fan! Mike was such a huge source of support and encouragement through this whole process. I wouldn't have kept up my motivation without him. Love you, baby!
Thank you to all of you who supported me in this mini marathon. I can't even tell you how much I appreciated your love and encouragement through all my training and especially during the race!
For those of you that want to know....I placed 2255 out of 5548 participants, I placed 961 out of 3278 women and I placed 189 out of 644 in my age group. I finished the race in 1 hour 54 minutes and 45 seconds.
If you would still like to donate towards this fundraiser go here.
